Yesterday marks one year since our failed IVF cycle. If it would have worked, I would be snuggling a 3-month old babe right now. It blows my mind to think about how different our life would be if it had worked out..like, would we have been able to tear it up at Bruno Mars last night if we had a 3-month old?? Doubt it, because we would have been too tired. (Silver linings 😊).
Honestly though, over the last several years of infertility, I’ve experienced a ridiculous variety of emotions, ranging from crippling sadness to pure joy when I hear a friends pregnancy announcement, thrilled and excited but also gutted and jealous when my friends give birth, and irritated yet curious when my friends spend countless hours talking about their child(ren).
Infertility is a bitch.
I don’t want whoever is following my blog to think that these last several years have ONLY been about infertility, because they most certainly haven’t. I’ve experienced some of my favorite memories, traveled to gorgeous places and met some of the greatest people during this time. I wouldn’t take it back for anything, you know, except for a baby. This journey has shaped me into a much different person then I was 4 years ago, hell, a MUCH different person then I was even one year ago! I’m much more patient, open, and understanding. I’m genuinely interested in people, because people equal stories and you never know a person’s story until you actually talk to them (or read their blog, haha). I’m much more empathetic and compassionate, I become teary-eyed at everything that is even remotely sad/happy or exciting, it’s pathetic. Infertility has changed me.
I’ve experienced a ton related to infertility and without these (shitty) experiences I would have never started this blog. Thank you to everyone who has been following along so far, for those who sent me private messages, texted/called or stopped by my cube at work to offer support- it’s SO appreciated. A super-duper big thank you to anyone who has passed along my story to someone who doesn’t know me. Since starting my blog 17 days ago, there has been over 700 visitors and over 2,000 views to this blog! Holy-S, that’s incredible! That means that people are talking, learning and sharing about infertility!!! How amazing is that? I feel so humbled. Please keep spreading the word about infertility!
Next post: ‘Lets make it official’ ~ my uterus hopefully meets its new roommate soon!